2 A.M.

       I am going to be as transparent as possible right now. It is currently 2 o’clock in the morning and my spirit has been led to share this with you all. I have failed God numerous times. I have put my trust in people. Counting on them to lift me up and on them to encourage me. In my darkest hour, I have called my best friend instead of God. I did not find anything wrong with this. God sends you people to help you stay on track.. Right? This is true. However, with me its deeper than that. I call up a friend to clarify what God has already told me. I hear his voice but oftentimes don’t want to “hear” him. He has told me time and time again that what he has planned for my life I can only do through him. YET, I still look high and low for answers elsewhere.

Tonight I was going through my old poetry and found this poem I wrote when I was in the ninth grade:

REFLECTION

"Looking in the mirror.

Clearly searching for her way.

Certain things got destroyed,

Damaged along the way.

Simply beginning to cry...

Looking in the mirror

Asking "why"?

Her reflection began to bend.

All she could ask God was,

'When will it all just finally end'"

I searched for love in the wrong places and the wrong people because I wanted to feel the feeling I saw in movies and now on social media. I remember thinking, "Why am I so desperate for love when God gave his only son to save me from my sins? God has loved me when I did not even love myself." When I did not know if I wanted the life he gave me he still believed in me and loved me. He nurtured me and spoke life into me. I have to love myself before anyone. I need to love myself the way God loved me.

I share this with you all because I feel in my spirit the pain coming from people who feel inadequate and unworthy of God’s love for whatever reason.. God loves you. He loves you more than you love you. ALSO, you need to GUARD YOUR HEART. Your heart controls your life and you can not just give that away to anyone. Know yourself and know your worth. You are valuable. You are worth it. You are truly good enough. God just wants you and me to focus on him and allow him to work everything else around you into place. Don’t stress, overthink, worry, or overanalyze it. HE’S GOT YOU!!!!

Through prayer and faith I have come so far and have really began to value self love and God’s love for myself. It’s completely amazing to see how once you allow God to control your life how  many mountains he will move. I am still a work in progress but I am glad I am his work in progress and am no longer trying to do this on my own. Tonight God showed me all that he has brought me through. I went from clinically depressed to being able to smile without feeling like it was fake. I am truly JOYFUL. I give that up to God. I prayed for years to be restored and he is a healer. He heals you. And he is currently healing me. 

xoxo,

Morgan-Brittani

P.S. If you need prayer email me at morganbrittanidaniels@gmail.com. We can not do this alone. 

Made these:

Miss. Morgan-Brittani

 

   Valentine's Day is almost here. Some of us maybe feeling impatient and overwhelmed. Today I am here to tell you that there is NO NEED TO BE feeling that way. This week God has shared with me that he has handled everything that I think is challenging me in life. I am going to share today with you what God has told me in hopes to renew your hearts and minds.

I mentioned in my prior blog, I had changed schools. This transition has been both a fun and stressful one. As a new student, I had to go seek guidance from the transfer counselor about my credits when she told me that I maybe graduating earlier than expected. Some of you guys may say this is great news. However, it completely threw me off. You see I am a planner. Then, just like that God completely changed the plan. I was starting to feel overwhelmed by this and did not know what to do. I had started to doubt if I heard God correctly not only in the aspect of my life but other aspects as well. 

The other morning, while having my morning devotion my mind began to feel even more overwhelmed. I kept crying out to God saying, “speak to me, speak to me.” I was starting to feel confused and anxious. God had told me of his plans, however, everything that he said would happen had not occurred and some things have even changed. I was beginning to feel impatient. In this moment, God led me to open up my bible and read  Philippians 4:6 which says, “Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.” Then I continued to read Romans 12:12 (I encourage you to read this verse).

After reading the scriptures, I told God, “I trust in you. I know that you still have a plan over my life and that you are trying to teach me to be patient and not depend on anything of this world.”  The next day I went to the grocery store with my life in God’s hands. Walking down the aisles of the store I begin to see flowers. EVERYWHERE. Not only flowers but I also saw seeds. In that moment I realized something that truly changed my life. God has planted seeds within me. These seeds were planted within me from the day he decided that he was going to create a Morgan-Brittani. However, the seeds needed to grow. I need to be able to depend on him even when it hurts. No matter what the circumstances. 

In this moment, I began to see everything that I have been through with God by my side. I saw every tear he wiped away and every wound he healed. He nurtured me the same way you would nurture a flower you would want to grow. What he has planned for me can not be done without him. He has told me, “With patience and dependence on me alone I will turn you into one of the beautiful flowers you see in front of you right now.” 

In this season of your life, you maybe impatient for something that you feel God has promised you. Just know that God is handling it. The God we serve is a forgiving, loving and trustworthy one. God knows what your heart desires. He planted seeds in your life just like he did in mine. He wants you to be the most beautiful flower in the garden and that is why he is taking his time to put everything together. 

xoxo, 

Morgan-Brittani

P.S. Have a Valentine's Day full of love. Thank you to http://www.drenayeverettphotography.com for the beautiful photographs. Here are more.